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Friday, September 8th, 2006
11:32 pm - They really were right!
Why do I think I should start keeping my journal again this year . . . ? At any rate, let me first apologize for the typos yesterday. I can only blame my exhaustion. Today's email may not be much better.

Let's see . . . today they were, of course, even more comfortable with me. They all want to talk to me at the same time about 31 different things, without raising their hands! They're out of their seats and all need my help. I gave them a quick glimpse into the classroom economy, telling them about their jobs and the "salaries" they'd be getting to spend at the Classroom Store. Well, they loved that. At any rate, we had to complete job applications for each job. They were to tell me what it is they thought they could do well for the classroom (whiteboard, plants, pencils, homework checker, table captain, etc.). Well, there were about five students who were able to complete the application on their own. Others were good attempts but definitely need some work. They did not use any of the information and resources I gave them in June, evidently! I will send out the survey to the parents about the packet just to see who was actually paying attention to it. There are quite a few students who could not get it together at all on the application . . . I have my work cut out for me for sure!

One girl said she wanted to be the bathroom monitor because "I flash the tolit." (Which would read: "I flush the toilet" if she could spell. However, I just thought that was cute and a great attempt.) A little boy didn't tell me which job he wanted. However, I have a question that reads: "Why do you want this job?" He answered, "I need to read book." Another question: "What jobs have you had in other classrooms?" His reply, "She read book to us." Yes, I will be working hard for my paycheck this year!

Another cute one was: "Do you know anyone who can tell me about what a great job you did in jobs you've had before?" Answer: Mommy! LOL! Another child wants to be my personal assistant. Question: Why do you think you'll be good at this job? Answer: Case I do it to my sistr and my mommy. (Because I do it to my sister and my mommy.) LOL! One has to wonder what she is actually doing to her sister and her mommy, huh?

At any rate, this morning, a mother comes to me and tells me how her daughter was crying yesterday. Yes, I know. I told her I tried to talk to her but she couldn't answer anything I asked, like, 'Why are you crying? How can I help you? What can I do for you?" Then she says how her daughter doesn't speak English. I told her I knew that, too. Well, the mom says, she only speaks Spanish. Really? Great! I mean, I've forgotten a lot, don’t get me wrong but I still remember a good bit, too. Before I get into the real story, let me just say that this little girl looks Asian of some sort. Not sure if she would be Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, or Korean, but definitely around there somewhere on the Pacific side. The mother has the same look. Sue me, I judged this book by the cover and thought the family was Asian, then with the name Feng . . . . well . . . So, today, little Fey Gunli starts the water works again. (SIGH!) So, I pull my chair over to her and I start talking to her in Spanish about the assignment. We were reading a book--First Day, Hooray! by Nancy Poydar--that talks about what different people do to get ready: custodian, principal, teachers, parents, students, bus drivers, etc. We had discussed it as a group, then I gave each group (six of them) a small half poster to write ideas on that we'd discussed detailing what these different people do to get ready for the first day of school. Some children had some great ideas. I mean, we had discussed it our first day and before we read today. FGF just sat there. I kept talking to her and she wasn't getting it, so I thought, "Hell, maybe I am rustier than I think I am!" I had another little girl who is fluent in Spanish talk to her but frankly, I think she may be Portuguese, which is another language entirely, but still, we tried. So, I am starting my pantomime--like I did with Klaudio from Albania that first year!--and she, too, laughed at me. Well, fine--as long as it's not crying. I can't stand the tears! So, the kids and I were all frustrated who were trying to help her, and the one little boy says, "She's Spanish? I thought she was Chinese." I said, "Yeah, me, too, but Mom says they speak Spanish." No one knew Chinese. The one girl asked, "What is that you kept speaking to her? Was that Chinese?" I told her no, it was Spanish. I don’t think she ever really got anything down but I did try.

This afternoon, FGF's grandmother comes to pick her up. Well, she looks like one of those nut-colored, weather-worn old Asian women you see in the market or that you see in movies. I ask Grandmom, does Fey speak Chinese or Spanish. Grandmom looks at me as I had lost MY mind. She says, "Chinese." So I just smiled. I mean . . . . what am I supposed to do with this? I looked at the information sheet I sent home to be filled out in case of emergencies. For a telephone number, the mother put "Puerto Rico." Excuse me? Am I reading this right? Then, she has what looks like Chinese characters at the bottom of the page where her signature should be, then it changes to a signature. So, I will talk to the mother again on Monday morning. Hopefully, she will be the one to drop her off again. Of course, I will be writing her up for IMMEDIATE ESOL assessment.

In other classroom news, Mr. Cool and Streetwise has asthma . . . no, pardon me, "asmia," according to his father who completed the information sheet. Great! So, anyway, he tells me how his chest is hurting, he has asthma and he forgot his pump--and he feels like he'll . . . I asked him what that meant. He said, "You know," then starts to do the sound/face thing again. I just gave him a look, trying to determine if I believe him or not because he'd been sitting down, talking and laughing with his table-mates just two minutes before he said he had these symptoms. He said, "For real!" when I wasn't immediately hauling him to the nurse. I told him, if he was really going to vomit, he could use the trashcan with the liner in it near the door because I wasn't in the mood to clean up vomit, thank you very much. I ask him how he could forget his pump if he had asthma. He said he doesn't know, he just did. I tell him, "You realize that having asthma but not taking your pump with you everywhere you go is a matter of life and death with every breath!" His eyes got wide and he just stared at me. I told him, I wasn't sure he really had asthma that badly if he hadn't thought to bring his pump with him.

So, this goes on for a bit, then I decide to take us to the bathroom. While we are at the bathroom, I figure I'll drop him at the nurse. Well, surprise, surprise, the nurse isn't there. I go to the office. The office tells me to check in the counselor's office. The counselor's office tells me to check back in the office to have the nurse paged. Well, good thing this boy isn't really having chest pains because he'd be SOL, wouldn't he? I told him, "See? There really doesn't seem too much for us to do for you here." Of course, he's still having the chest pains. He's feeling quite vomitous now. I told him to go down the hall to the trashcan that I see--because remember, I still have 30 other students who want/need to use the bathroom. So, he goes to the bathroom--I told him it might make him feel better. And, like a do-do bird, he falls for this. Like, Buddy, if you were truly having CHEST PAIN, taking a whiz or a dump certainly won't help you! At any rate, he comes out of the bathroom but doesn't say anything. I, of course, certainly don't want to bring it up. We get back to the room and he starts again. I ask him if there is anyone home. No. I ask him if there was anyone picking him up today with whom I can speak about this asthma of his. He thinks about it. I told him I'd have to call the office and tell someone to call home. He tells me, "I think I'm starting to feel better."

UGH! I am going to be bald from pulling my hair out all year long with this crew. I just know it! And, I don't think it'll be all the kids making me do it either. The parents are a little . . . OFF to say the least.

I sent home the information packet, as I said, and one parent answered the question "Is there any other information that you want to share with me?" this way: " tends to lose attention and sometimes is easily distracted." TENDS to? SOMETIMES easily DISTRACTED? HELLO? Reality check, Dad! Another response: "Yes,
is a very loving child. She sometimes needs a hug just to show her you care and she is sometimes a little chatterbox to (sic)." Really? Well, technically we're not allowed to touch the kids anymore-they actually have that written down somewhere now. And with this sudden tidal wave of women teachers being convicted of indecent behavior with their students, I am loathe to do it with this crew. I know not every class can be my first class but I am trying hard to like them all. Really! It would make my year so much easier if I did. Oh, and this "sometimes a little chatterbox" never SHUTS UP! From the time she comes in at the bell to the time she leaves, she is talking, talking, talking . . . TALKING! UGH! Another? "He can take regular food. When he do not have his lunch, Please give him from school Kosher!" Hello? You want a special Kosher lunch for a child on a moment's notice if he doesn't have his lunch? I'd make sure I sent his lunch every day, Mom. Another? "Please call parents before calling emergency contacts." Well . . . . No shit! DUH! Another? I like this one, though. Sounds as if she knows her child. " is adopted and he's a good child, but @ times he can be a pain in the neck with his ways." And, Lord have mercy, if she isn't so on the money with that one! Another one who comes in talking and won't keep quiet for a moment! Hell, not even long enough to take a breath! Another parent was short and sweet, saying only, "No, thank you." LOL! I thought that was funny as hell!

Oh, and those of you who remember from last year, she's back. Well, not officially. She missed yesterday and her entire family came down to tell us--all of them dressed as if they had just stepped off the plane from their summer vacation some place--that has strep throat (think she had it twice last year and missed many days) and won't be in for the first few days of school. Let the year begin! Her new second grade teacher will get all kinds of excuses, from lice to strep, to asthma to headaches to "Porta Rica." She is retainee from my class last year, going into Rolie Polie's room. Those two are meant for each other! They'll be comparing maladies every week. I think she may have learned a little in my room last year. Not sure what she'll learn in her new class. I feel for her but also I am glad I don't have to bend my life to that family anymore. There are new pressures in my life now, thank you very much.

So, that was day two. Nothing but fun and good times with this group, huh?

current mood: cranky

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Thursday, September 7th, 2006
11:43 pm - Oh, my goodness!
Why does it feel like the one hundred and eighty-first day? I am just exhausted! Granted, as everyone keeps saying, I've been in the room for about a month now, but still . . . . They came in talking and comfortable and just a little too at ease for my tastes.

I didn't get to do much with them but put away their supplies, show them some basic rules and procedures, then sent them home. I didn't have an agenda, if you can believe it. I can't and neither can my team. However, I still think it went rather well considering I was alone with 28 kids. Thirty-two were on roll and 28 showed up. Today, when I checked my box before I left school, my number had decreased by two. So, I am hoping that they will continue to drop. If I had 25 kids, I'd be as happy as a clam--provided clams truly are happy (who started this rumor that they were so damned happy?). But I know that is not going to happen.

As they were trying to work today, I saw how scrunched into the room they are--I have some big kids this year. They look like fourth graders! It really made me feel bad and beaten that they don’t have the space they need to truly spread out or at least be comfortable in their classroom. It's really just not right that we're so sardined in our rooms. But, I know I am preaching to the choir, so I'll shush.

Because it's been drilled into my head since about April of the last school year that the kids coming into second grade were just awful and off the wall, I was very strict and mean with them. Why show any leniency now when it's so important to be quite strict and aggressive? The one mom was late--I forget the child--but the student was doing something annoying and I told her that she wouldn't get second chance to make a first impression so make the first one count. The mother kind of stood up really tall and you could tell she was momentarily stunned by the comment but then said, "Oh, good, that will give her something to think about. Look, Mom, too!" Then she laughed. So, she understood what I was saying to her and realized it was coming from a good place, not a bad place.

I already have my personal assistant--B.S. He was very helpful today and did everything perfectly and quietly, no fuss. I love him! He's very shy, too. My favorite girl may possibly be S.C. She has a quiet dramatic flair to her personality. When she talked about the things in her "Autobiography Bag," she was very descriptive and attentive to her audience and what she was saying. She described a picture she had cut out of a magazine with a beach scene. Well, she said, "I chose this picture because I like to travel. I traveled to Miami, Florida this summer and learned a little bit of Creole from my family there. Then, they came up here and visited us and I practiced some more. I also went to New Jersey this summer, to the beach." She pointed to another picture she glued to her bag and says, "My mother and I are members of the Philadelphia Zoo and we spent some time there this summer." Then, she told me about going to the Phillies' game with her "Pop-Pop" and getting a hat and shirt, which she brought to show everyone. Of course, I thought, "This would be Michael's kid!" I mean, she was right on point about everything she said. She must have taken those directions to heart about practicing and sharing. At the end of the presentation, she said, "And for my final masterpiece and gift, I have chocolate chip cookies I'd like to share with everyone!" I told her that I could tell that she'd be a great writer and reader because she had a natural flair. She just smiled graciously.

As I said, I didn't get to do much with the kids today. I was alone because the SSA, Mrs. S, had to baby-sit a girl who, apparently, has bathroom issues as well as being deaf and nearly blind and so on and so forth. I may not have Mrs. S until NEXT WEEK, if AT ALL! YIKES! So, please, pray for me. I literally had about three crackers with a bit of tuna for lunch today before I realized I had so much still to do, like start the homework and give it out in their bins. Pain in the ass! I had used all the spaces I thought I'd cleared for their supplies. I mean, I was a mess, so I had to stay late to do that today. But, I think I have to tell J he'll be adding to my corner in the boiler room. He told me to get a trunk and just store stuff down there. It wasn't a problem.

One parent did say that when she brought her child in and they told her she had Ms. S, everyone in the office enthusiastically told her how "good" Ms. S was and how lucky her child was to be in my class. How flattering, right? The mom said that "it made me feel so good because she needs someone good who will challenge (her daughter)." I think this is the mother who wanted her daughter to be in the MG (mentally gifted) program but everyone said how her daughter is just of average intelligence. We'll see, I guess. This is the same girl who wowed me with her auto-bag presentation, so maybe she has potential.

Mrs. W came in and introduced me to a Mrs. J. I had no clue who she was. Good thing I didn’t ask directly because she turned out to be our region's superintendent replacement. Personally, I think she had a weak handshake so I am not too enthused about her. Yep, those first impressions I just talked about, right? At any rate, rumor is she's very hand's on and likes to visit the schools at a moment's notice and just observe different classes and teachers. I think that's good because it keeps you on your game to do not only what you're doing but perhaps go above and beyond the standard. You know? Anyway, as W is introducing me she goes on about how wonderful I am and how happy Moore is to have me as a teacher there. On the way out of my room, Mrs. W gets to the smiley faces on the frame of the door, which signify how the children should be lined up in size order. That way, if there is any discrepancy, the kids (or other teachers) can consult the left frame for girls and the right frame for boys. I did just small flashcards last year but wanted to do something I could use over and over. So I had the smiley faces laminated. On one side they're yellow (girls); on the other side they're red (boys).

Of course, I forgot my freakin' camera so I don't have first day shots to send you. However, I will remember it tomorrow and take many pix. That will give me a better grip on talking about the students.

At the end of the day, I had a runner. He left either before the bell or at the bell, but he was there with us--up until his mother came for him. She got rammy with school personnel and by the time she was with me, I guess she had calmed down. Yes, he was my student but hey, he was told to stay where he was--in like with us. Then, another boy started crying because his mother wasn’t there to pick him up when we went outside. We were like nearly 15 minutes early out to the yard--as per Mrs. W's request. Well, I was talking to a mother and he came up and I kind of side-hugged him as we talked. He wouldn't stop crying. So, I asked him why he was crying. I had a boy do that last year--Pakistani, like this boy. The reason is that they want to see their mother IMMEDIATELY! Well, K.A. boo-hooed and I asked, "Are you crying because Mom isn't here yet? Well, we have about 10 more minutes before the bell rings. She's not late. Come back and cry at the bell if she's still not here." And, he straightened up, wiped his face, and went on about his business. The mom I was talking to just started laughing. I just hope she remembers that "tough luv" when it's her child.

Alright, that's about all I can get into right now. My feet are killing me! I literally had to sit down for about ten minutes before I left today because I had been on my feet about 99% of the day. I think J (the custodian) was about to volunteer a foot massage they were so sore. (M said that's his job, when I told him that LOL!) I'll write more tomorrow when I have pictures and more to say about the day. I want to get some writing out of them tomorrow. EEK! I'm skurred!

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Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
9:40 am - Mean and Nasty Strikes Again!
I had only 17 kids this morning. Today was our trip to the Keswick Theater to see Come Back, Amelia Bedelia! Well, because about half of my kids didn't pay or have a permission slip, I told the other teachers I'd stay behind rather than try to find classrooms for those kids or worse, cancel the trip. I think it's so unfair that the rest of the kids suffer when the other kids (and/or their parents) have neither the means nor the motivation to get sh*t done. Because the tickets were an advance purchase, they could not bring in the money today and expect to go.

Well, as a grade (and in our grade meeting weeks ago), we agreed that I'd do this and the other teachers seemed grateful that I was offering. I mean, I missed the last play because I was in PR. I actually did want to go but I felt bad because so many of my kids didn't go. Anyway, I get a call this morning from MA--the grade facilitator who is always so mean and nasty to the kids and actually tried to tell me that it wastes time to have children answering the phone. WITCH! So, she says that I was told about having so many children left behind before. I told her that not all the children were from my room but that enough were. I told her that we had discussed this weeks ago and that everyone was okay with it. So, then she says, "You didn't think you were getting a prep, did you?" Well, yes, I did. Why wouldn't I? So, because the entire second grade is gone, I don't get prep? They get to have pretty much all the freakin' day to chill out? I don't think so!

At any rate, Mrs. S, the assistant in my room, talked to the art teacher (the prep I have on Wednesdays) directly . . . let me say that again . . . DIRECTLY! . . . and she, Mrs. B (mean as her ass is) said that I could bring the children. I mean, WTF, MA? Again, going and putting her ass in sh*t that doesn't concern her! It makes me so angry I could just beat the crap out of her--repeatedly! She wanted to know if I had talked to Mrs. W. Why? It's been settled. There is no reason to call her into it if we've solved any potential issues. Moreover, as MC pointed out, even if we hadn't talked to Mrs. B directly, I should still get prep. That's just bullsh*t! Anyway, MA said she'd talk to the principal and get back to me. Of course, she didn't. ARGH!

If you remember, the week or so before, she kept calling the room but would hang up and leave my receptionist, M, looking bewildered and bemused. I’d have this expectant look on my face about who might be calling, and then he’d hang up the phone. He’d say, “She said she can’t take the kids answering the phone. She hung up.” This to me means that more than just A3 has that policy. So, after a couple of days and about six phone calls from her in that time, I finally get on the phone and tell her that she needs to understand that it is M’s job to answer the phone; that is how it’s done in my classroom. She said that it wastes time. I insisted that it doesn’t. She insisted just as much that it does. I told her that the waste of time was to keep hanging up on him and calling back when all she had to do was state who she was and he’d get me on the phone. Like, WTF! Why is she so damn unpleasant? At any rate, she kind of tried to dismiss what I was saying then stated her business. After that, I told her “Fine!” and I just hung up on her. Subsequent phone calls had the same result. I am NOT pleasant to her, I give her one-word answers, and then I hang up without even saying goodbye. Screw her!

I guess she realizes she’s not the only nasty bitch on the block and that she’d better very well be ready to take that bullsh*t if she’s going to be dishing it out because she's now a little more pleasant when she talks to me on the phone. However, it's just never that easy with me. I've still been a real nasty ass with her since her behavior with M—and just her attitude in general on any given issue that should arise. So, something positive has seemingly happened in her. Still, I feel as though I have to show her just how her ugly behavior is just so incredibly unattractive and uncalled for.

current mood: bitchy

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Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
11:44 pm - Dinner Invitation
Okay, as you (may) know I was invited to have dinner with my student and his mother last week. I really wasn't sure about going but felt very cornered so I decided to do it this week. After much debate, we agreed on Thursday night for dinner because I had the final reorganization meeting at school tonight and I could just scoot to my student's house from there.

Well, I got there around 5:00--and CM is very much around the corner from Carnell school, which is where the principal tried to send this student but the mom totally resisted. I can see why, too. I agree with my student, "You can tell by the outside that it's not nice on the inside."

Well, when I got there he was alone. Mom had gone to the store real quick for dessert--as if she had to do that. Although, I must say the chocolate cake was great! So, I felt kinda funny about that but the door was wide open and we just stayed on the couch and I helped him in starting his homework. Mom came in about 10 minutes.

She made salad (with cranberries which I ate around), rice, some kind of cold shrimp dish with ketchup and mayonnaise. I didn't care for that at all and I just ate one of the shrimp and a little rice. My student, however, loves this dish. It's one of his favorites apparently. She also made this seafood soup. It was the BOMB DIGGITY! I can see me asking this student to tell mom to send me some the next time she makes it. It seemed to have New England Clam chowder as the base, with her adding in calamari, shrimp, mussels, oysters and onions. It was delicious! I couldn't eat all that she gave me so I asked her if I could take it home. Yes, it was that good! She gave me a little more to have for dinner tomorrow night.

My student gave me a tour of the house--little house (reminds me of Darlene's estate ) but perfect for them. I'd love to have a little piece of real estate like that. She's refurbishing the basement so she can rent it out. It's a postage stamp but it will be nice for someone who just needs a place to rest his head. He told and showed me everything! From the storage crawl space in the back of the basement to the bathroom in the upper floor. The mom was embarrassed about it not being "clean" but I told her if she saw my apartment she'd have reservations about me teaching her son. I mean, how could a teacher live in such squalor and have a keen enough mind to teach her only child? LOL!

Of course, she spoke mostly Spanish and the son had to translate a few times but we got along alright. She knows as much English as I know Spanish so with CM translating, we moved right along. My fear is that other students will find out and want to invite me over and I'll have to find a way to either go or say no. So, we'll see what happens.

Oh, the student did tell me that he doesn't like the one child in my class--Mr. Albania. I love him! Yes, he can work a nerve because he's so playful but most of the time I really like the kid. I had to give his mother as an analogy of the second grader trying to fit into American life. I told him to think of his mother trying to fit in and make friends when she first came to America from Columbia and how his mother might have felt if some adults didn't like her just because she didn’t speak English. I told him that wasn't very nice of him and he should know better. Mom seemed to understand what I was saying and she gave him a reproachful look but we'll see if his attitude changes. They are in the same class next year.

In other news, I bumped into the principal the other day--may have even been yesterday--and she apologized for not getting down to the annex to check on me this year as much as she would have liked. I told her it was fine, I know she's busy. Besides, my grade partners were taking me under their wing and telling me the ins and outs of what I needed to do to be successful in my classroom. She said that I was doing a "great job" and that I was "truly a gift." She went on to say that my students were lucky to have me and that she was "so happy" I was there, "honest to God!" And, take this for what it's worth but she's Irish Catholic.

I got my new class list Tuesday. I have 28 students so far but I am sure I'll get a few more before it's all over. Most of them seem to be at their reading level or higher (a few are coming in at a third grade level). Only about three or four of them are "remedial" and two of those are ESL students. I don't feel bad at all about my kids coming in. In the next week, I will have the first grade students coming down to the room to introduce me to the new students coming in. I keep telling my kids to show them how I expect them to act. Don't give them a false sense of what goes on in A3. (I forgot to bring some of the writing home for the new students coming in. I'll try to remember tomorrow.)

I also, tonight, found out which of my students will be going where next fall. I am unhappy that some of my students have a certain teacher but what can you do? It's not as if I can request that my students don't go to this woman. I really don't want to have to speak to her at all! (And I tried not to plant a seed in my student's head tonight but this student is going to his beastly teacher and I told him that if he ever needed to see me--for any reason--just tell Mrs. S he has an open invitation to A3. Yeah, that's bad, I know but I just truly dislike this woman. And for those of you who know, she was the one who came to me in the beginning of the year to tell me how to setup my room because the classroom had been hers before I got there. ) I am sure I'll have those third grade teachers coming to me asking for clarifications of my placement card notes. Most of my students are great so I'll have no problem assuring them of the great group they'll have.

Well, I think that's all I have to say about school. I've been so lax with the journal recently. I just haven't had the time. I'll try to catch you up on some stories but I think this may be the last year I do it . . .

current mood: good

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Friday, May 6th, 2005
8:25 pm - They're driving me bananas!
I’ve just about had it with my lovely second grade group. I’ve talked and talked and talked until I am blue in the face! They won’t shut the hell up! Because my fuse is short for patience, I thought it was just me. However, all the other teachers say they are experiencing the same phenomenon.

Is it the end of the year? Is it that Olympic Day is fast approaching? The gym teacher came up to me and told me how off the wall they were. Of course, I had to tell them how incredibly embarrassed I was. Especially since, it wasn’t just me but there were other teachers around who had to hear how my students didn’t know how to act. I was humiliated and mortified! Of course, I get quite dramatic as I tell the children this. I look and act thoroughly disgusted by their behavior.

Of course, I started giving out paper and they all looked at each other because they know what’s coming. They had to write letters of apology for their behavior in gym. They had to apologize to me for their behavior and how it represented me to another teacher. Then we did math all afternoon—three tests, and a booklet of math drills. I got that idea from another teacher. She makes them do the booklet when they’ve misbehaved. Well, I made my class do the entire booklet! Kept their asses calmed until it was time to go.

I tried to have them do a shared reading on the carpet with a big book but it got noisy and I told the ones who were still talking to go back to their seats. I told them that they could thank certain students for having to do more drill books come Monday. I was very tired of talking to them and I wasn’t going to put up with it anymore. I was going to turn into Viola Swamp and that was that! They weren’t very happy to hear that news but let them sweat! I am beyond worrying about that right now!

Twenty-eight days and counting!

current mood: cranky
current music: Tangled/Maroon 5

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Friday, February 4th, 2005
10:08 pm - Damn Teachers!
You know, if someone had told me before I started in this profession that teachers were petty, insecure animals, I would never have believed them. However, I must change my opinion. Why are they so concerned about what it is other people are doing? Who cares? Just allow me to do my job, please?

Apparently, one of the teachers went to the union rep in the building because another teacher and I were going to pick up our children early when we have indoor admissions on the inclement weather days. We are in the annex, which has to be a good quarter of a mile from the main building. So, we go to the gym a little early to get our kids so that we aren’t mobbed in the crush of students all trying to get to their rooms at the same freakin’ time! Who gives a flying fig if we’re five minutes early?

So, the issue apparently went as far as the principal who (thankfully) waved it away as nonsense. If she had had something to say about it, I’d have been very disappointed in her. The union rep who was approached also thought it was trivial because no one ever said anything to me (or this other teacher) directly. Can you just imagine what I would have said or the expression on my face if someone had the nerve to say that to me?

Well, now, that other teacher and I (and another one has started going early, too) make it a point to go early on the indoor/inclement weather days just to make a point. How dare this person say anything about it? Again, who cares?!

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Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
5:46 pm - Happy New Year!
I know it’s been excessively long since my last journal update. I’ve just been too busy, I guess. Procrastinating about so much more than just my journal.

Just to let you know, December was pretty much cool. The children loved the room change and seem to work so much better with it the way it is now. Of course, now I just keep thinking of all the little touches I want to do with the room. I was reading a website on Feng Shui for the classroom and even though I have already incorporated some things from the practice, I’d like to do a little more. I was trying to find some chimes that weren’t expensive but that’s like finding a needle in a haystack. The cheapest I found were at a dollar store but they looked like just that . . . dollar store chimes. Then I found some very nice ones for $30 but I just couldn’t bring myself to buy them . . . . at least, not at that moment. I am sure I’ll break down eventually and buy them but I just didn’t feel like it at the time and not only because I didn’t want to hear my friend tell me what a fool I was to be parting with yet more of my money for the sake of my new profession.

The site I read said to have chimes in a few places around the room. I figure two pair of chimes will be quite enough . . . I’ll see what I can do to make that happen one of these days. It also said to have a pebble garden or something to that effect for element of the earth. Also, having live things in the room just created a feeling of peace and vitality. I agree. So, I’ve got that covered with the plants. The chimes will come. I am also supposed to get posters of movement. That’s supposed to stimulate the brain or something. Yeah, as cocky as it may sound, I do agree with some of the tenants of this practice and figure it can’t hurt to have these elements incorporated into my room.

Oh, I am also looking for a nice, low coffee table so the games center can have their little section on the floor but have somewhere to lean. I figure they can use pillows just to chill on if they want or seat on the carpet. Make it look like a real little library over there in that corner.

Alright, that’s about it for that . . . .

I did have students in a single row because these children couldn’t handle being in a group. But then, I figured, new year, I’d give them a chance. Well, three days back into the school year and I had to put them back where they were. OY! So, I get a note from a mom of one of these kids—the one whose father hates black people—and he has to be moved to a group because he can’t see. Alright, fine. So, today I made the move. But, I told the little boy and his mother that if I find myself talking to him too often, he’d just have to go back to the other arrangement and we’d have to make arrangements for him to copy his board-work at a separate time when he wouldn’t be so distracted. I mean, it’s constant with this kid!

Then I had to tell the mom that we wrote about Dr. King on Thursday. While my aid read the book, the children stayed in their seats and took notes from the book. So, their notes, were basically their writings and then they were to rewrite them legibly and then do a final copy on nice paper so that I can post it in the hall. I figure this is good for the month of February if I don’t take it down before then. I am sure I will but you know . . . . In any case, Friday, the children were able to edit their work, after a conference with me or my aid. We made some corrections but spellings and words that I put on the board or put on their word lists I made them go back and change themselves. They need to get to a point where they can self edit. At any rate, this kid had three sentences! THREE SENTENCES! The lowest child in my room, reading at a beginning first grade level (E) wrote two paragraphs and actually had some great ideas and facts for her biography of Dr. King. This borderline ADD kid (yeah, I am convinced that’s his problem) reads at a third grade level (N). HELLO?! I just had to tell his mother that today when she came to pick him up. I mean, don’t make it seem that I am riding him hard when he is part of the problem here.

Is it me? Just tell me; is it me?!

current mood: tired
current music: Prince/Loose!

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Monday, January 17th, 2005
5:45 pm - Rubrics
Alright. I know I should have had these in place way back in September but I just didn’t think of it. Remember, I am used to Kindergarten and first where things are just so very rudimentary . . . . Still, there is no excuse, right? I know! I know!

So, I got this big idea to start doing rubrics on all the writing the kids turn in. I will label the children’s work with those circular labels (green, blue, yellow, red). Green would mean an outstanding paper, no mistakes at all. Blue would mean a great paper with just a few minor mistakes. Yellow, is alright but still there are several mistakes. Red, obviously, would be a paper that needs lots of work. However, now I just have to write down what the criteria is for the children. That way as they are writing, they can edit themselves as they write and they won’t get upset with me or themselves when they get papers back that aren’t good.

The District wants us to have these rubrics up, of course, and since I’ve also gotten the idea to let the children start building their third grade portfolio, I think it would be a good idea to have them know what is actually being asked of them. Of course, teachers tell them all the time to do their best work, take their time, be neat, be careful, make sense, blah, blah, freakin’ blah! They’ve heard it all before but still they turn in sub-par work. I am hoping this rubric will make it better for them to distinguish what is excellence as opposed to average as opposed to just plain ugly. You know?

I’ll let you know how it goes.

current mood: tired
current music: Maroon 5/Tangled

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Monday, November 29th, 2004
8:38 pm - Maroon 5
Alright, I usually play music in the room. I can’t stand that it’s so quiet sometimes. And I know it’s a residual from being in an office, where I was allowed to listen to music while I worked. It’s been researched that music makes people more productive. I was playing the classics like Mrs. J used to but the children asked me why I was doing that. I told them that experts said that it helped children think and work better. The one girl said, “Ms. S, it’s not working.” Is that the most hilarious thing you’ve ever heard? These children really do not care what they say . . . well, I shouldn’t say that. I’ll just say that they are brutally honest without even realizing it.

So, today was the first day after our holiday break. We had four luxurious days in which I had to finish report cards and my university work. Fun! Fun! Fun! As we were starting to copy homework, I turned on the CD player. I allow the children to usually choose the music we hear since I have a small collection in the listening center. I bring in the CDs for the Rhythm and Rhyme lesson (analyzing songs and interpreting what the singer/songwriter meant) and often forget them. But I do have some that I definitely keep there, like the world music. So many of their cultures are represented on this one CD. It has Arabic music, Chinese music, Latin music, African music. You get the drift.

Well, today, I wanted to play MY music. I hadn’t heard the Maroon 5 CD in over a week! I brought it home to play but I totally forgot until this morning when I was listening to it before the kids came in. Since that was the one in there and I love the CD so much, I just hit play as I let the children copy homework. Well, we’re listening to the songs and I am about to write the third homework item on the board, the room is pretty much quiet, and it seemed as if the entire class just broke out on the chorus of “This Love.” All of a sudden, I just heard:

This love has taken its toll on me; she said goodbye too many times before. Her heart is breaking in front of me and I have no choice ‘cuz I won’t say goodbye anymore. Whoah . . . .

My intern and I, Ms. D, were just incredibly tickled! I looked over at her and asked, “Hmmm, think I play this CD a little too much?” The children assured me that they liked the music and that I should turn it up. I mean, is that so funny or what?!

Just thought I’d share. It was nice to come back to work to that rather than sour faces and attitudes.

current mood: chipper
current music: Maroon 5/This Love

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Thursday, November 18th, 2004
10:32 pm - “My dad hates black people!”
So, how does one even address this pronouncement? I was in class today, reading a picture book about Sacagawea and discussing how Captain Clark’s slave York was the first Black man that many of the Native Americans on their trip had seen. Well, the little boy who is given to classroom outbursts, blurted out, “My dad hates Black people!” I am sure the look on my face was one of dazed confusion. Moreover, the total silence in the room after this proclamation must have made him feel as if he had to defend himself because he quickly added, “I don’t know why he doesn’t like Black people. I like Black people.” Well, after that first outburst, it’s pretty hard to recover from the aftershocks.

I had just had a conversation in my EL (English Linguistics) class last night about how African-American parents can sometimes defer to White teachers simply because they are White. These parents feel that White teachers receive a better education and therefore are better equipped to educate their child. Let’s not mention that a Black teacher may have eons more experience than their paler counterparts. However, I’ve been told on many occasions by African-American teachers about this phenomenon. Luckily, I’ve not encountered it myself (yet). Nevertheless, I don’t believe it’s because they feel that I may be just as educated as a White teacher but more because these parents can’t figure out what nationality I am. I’ve discussed before in my journals how the students have asked me if I am White or Black or Hispanic or whatever. I am generally amused by the question. However, I am often taken off-guard when a Black person asks me because I feel that they should “know better.” The same goes when a Hispanic person asks me if I am Latina. Presumptuous, perhaps; however, my immediate reaction is often, “Are you seriously asking me that question?”

So, in EL class I could see the surprised looks on the faces of my peers. I think they, too, had some questions about my nationality. Keep in mind that I am the only African-American student in that class. Sometimes I hate having to be “the Black voice” in class—especially since I’ve not had the experiences to be “THE Black voice.” I can only discuss my experience as I’ve lived it.

Because of the area I’d chosen for my career—a very culturally diverse but mostly White neighborhood in the Northeast—I made special pains to write my welcome letter to parents and students. In that letter, I made sure to be as eloquent as possible while also mentioning my degrees and the institutions that granted them to me. When I wrote the letter initially, I told myself I was adding that bit of information more because this is my first year teaching solo in a classroom, without a partner teacher. I was a Literacy Intern for three years and it was now time to spread those wings and see if I could indeed fly. However, when that conversation came up last night in EL class, I had to ask myself if there was some underlying, subconscious reason for making sure my educational background was written in the letter. Realistically, I guess I was just killing two birds with the one stone. I was letting parents know, I am qualified to teach your child. There is no need to question me about every little thing. Which is what I feared would happen if they found out that I was a first-year teacher.

At any rate, after the little boy blurted out his father’s position on racial issues on the Black standpoint, I didn’t know what to do. Do I just overlook the comment? Do I talk to the little boy about it? Do I tell the kid that I am sure his father isn’t a racist, certainly that can’t be so . . . can it? Besides, I had about 26 shocked and amazed faces in front of me. Much to my amazement, the students’ reactions varied but were still quite vehement in whatever they expressed. “How can you say that?” “My sister is Black.” “My father doesn’t like Black people because they steal.” “My grandmother doesn’t like Black people because they have guns.” “What’s wrong with Black people?” “My mom says Black people smell funny.” I was quite flabbergasted that the comments seemed overwhelmingly negative toward African-Americans. It would have been so interesting to talk to each one of the students about the comments being thrown out on the carpet but I truly didn’t feel it was the time or place. Already, poor Sacagawea’s story was being dismissed because of this unplanned outburst. And, let’s not mention how the Black students in my class may have been feeling. I mean, if I felt lambasted, certainly they must be feeling “some type of way.”

I had to decide if I was “the teacher” who is supposed to be objective and just a guide for their young minds or the African-American person reacting to this propaganda. I decided for the former, simply because my mind wasn’t prepared to handle that at the moment. I so wanted to ask him, “Do you realize I am Black?” Out of the mouths of babes, alright, but . . . . Surely, he’d have to know that a comment so bold, aggressive, and controversial would be met with disdain and disapproval. I’ve talked to this child’s mother several times about her son’s outbursts. Yes, this is the child whose mother wanted to know why there was “such an enormous amount of homework.” He’s often made inappropriate comments in the room but none so contentious. Again, I have to question myself: do I talk to the mom? the dad? the child? WHO? WHAT?! Who the hell is to know?

While this all happened in just a few short moments—three minutes at the most—it seemed like it took forever to have those myriad thoughts ricochet through my mind. Finally, I asked the boy, “Why does your father hate Black people?” He said that he didn’t know. I gave him an assignment, “Go ask your father why he made that statement. Ask him why he hates Black people. I’d be interested to know the answer.”

Of course, I’ve noticed that this father is one parent who stays in the back of the line in the mornings. He doesn’t really speak to me too much—whereas all the other parents seem to want to be the teachers’ best friend. I mean, treat the teacher well, they’ll treat your child well. I understand the logic; don’t get me wrong. I’d probably do the same thing. However, not this parent. He made a comment about me sending a virus to his home computer. Being the computer geekette that I am, I was totally mortified. The man may as well have told me I gave him the AIDS virus, I was so upset. I ran home and checked my computer, ran virus checks and then asked other parents who had received email from me as this family did and no one reported anything amiss. He assured me that he had virus protection on his computer also and still I managed to infiltrate his system. Once I checked my computer and consulted with others who had received the same email from me and been told they had not been affected at all, I went back to this father (a couple of days at most) and told him that he needed to check another source because I didn’t believe the virus came from me. He made me feel like such an ass—on top of the aloofness I’d felt from him since the beginning of the year—that I am sure I had a little bit of a chip on my shoulder. However, he did say that he had spoken more to his wife about what happened and it seems that the computer is just old and shut down. I was not to blame for the obvious malfunction. Hoo-freakin’-ray!

So, to make the story even more out there, I discussed the issue with some of my coworkers. I had to ask how they would have handled it and what should I have done, if anything. One (White) teacher said that she would have just told the boy to “shhh!” and moved on. Another assured me that I did the right thing, to briefly address the comment but to not make a big deal out of it. Then it comes out that this child’s family has a Confederate flag hanging outside of their house. One teacher’s intern told me that. Then my aid told me that—in separate discussions—so I am thinking that there must be some kind of truth to the “rumor.” Still, I am thinking that if the father truly hated Black folks, he would have asked that his child be removed from my room, right? Even if he didn’t think I was Black, he certainly can tell I am not White. Someone waving the confederate flag is usually against all non-Caucasian ethnicities, right?

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. I am dreading going in there. I am sure that the parents will either be incredibly mortified and feel they have to address the issue with me or they will be so embarrassed they won’t say anything. I can just imagine this kid going home saying, “Dad, my teacher wants to know why you hate Black people.” Can you just picture this scene at the dinner table? Of course, he’d have to ask why I would ask such a question. I wonder if the child will tell him, “Because I had another outburst and said that you hated Black people. She just wants to know why.”

EEK!

current mood: discontent

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Monday, November 8th, 2004
10:14 pm - The Field Trip
Yes, I’ve been remiss, I know. The field trip was last month and I haven’t gotten a chance to write yet. Yeah, yeah, so busy, busy, busy. Needless to say—well, not so needless—the trip went off without too much of a hitch. I had some parents show up the day of the trip wanting to go which was rather rude of them, I thought. There was the father of the little girl who’s been vying for my attention since the beginning of the school year when his daughter cajoled him into coming to visit her class. He’s been to the school a few times—telling me it’s his daughter who is insisting he visit but am I stupid? In any case, I had seven parents show up, which turned out to be very good. I was able to divide my class so much that I had only two students with me—although, I could have given one of those away and had my hands full with the Albanian student. He was excited about every little thing! He was so loud! My goodness! But how could you not be enthusiastic about his zest for everything at the Academy of Natural Science?

Well, the parents were scattered around the Academy but the interested father stayed close by practically the entire day. He even tried to save me a seat on the bus. All the other parents drove in a different bus because there weren’t too many seats available on the bus I was on with my class. He insisted on riding with us and the other class. Then on the way back, this father tried to save a seat for me next to him and his daughter—sweetest, tiniest little girl, by the way. Just looking at her, you’d think she was in Kindergarten, such a teensy little thing. At any rate, it would have been a tight fit to be sure and I totally didn’t let that happen. There was another parent—Hispanic—saying, “Sit with us; sit with us!” She wanted me to sit across the aisle from her and her son. I mean, it’s nice to feel so popular but geez!

I shared my concerns with the other second grade teacher, Ms. C—she’s a little younger than I am but pretty much in that same age demographic, so I figured she’d understand the dilemma. After the day was over, she said she noticed what I meant about thinking the dad was coming on to me. I mean, I was sure he was trying to flirt and make a pass but then I figured he is Latino. I could just be reading him wrong, you know? They do seem to put the come on on without even realizing it sometimes. Ms. C assured me that she felt the vibe, too. Luckily, he hasn’t been as forward as the first dad to put the make on. That would definitely be uncomfortable. Although, at the Academy he made sure we were seated together during lunch and then talked about how old he was and blah, blah, blah. I don’t know if he’s married to the mom or not—I am thinking not. I mean, would he be so obvious? I am sure he’ll want to go on the next trip . . . . Oye mi grito!

At any rate, during the trip, one student walked away from a parent. I had my doubts about that pairing when the little asked me to be in this parent’s group. The parent assured me that it would be fine. I should have trusted my instincts and said no. I mean, I know how this little girl is. However, you know how kids are when they’re comfortable with you. You think they’ll act a little differently with someone new, trying to be impressive. That Eddie Haskell syndrome. Well, this child walked away from the parent. I asked the parent where she was when she came into the theater at the Academy; they were showing a film about Lewis and Clark. The parent looked at me and said, “She’s not in here with you?” I told her that she wasn’t. She panicked and went looking for the child and couldn’t find her. I told them to stay in the place and I went and looked for the girl. Still couldn’t find her. Then finally, she reappeared.

Of course, I read her the riot act. Then I asked her, “I guess you know what this means, right?” She didn’t answer but her look told me that she knew exactly what I meant. I wrote a very fiery note—as fiery as you can be with parents—to her mother. I told the mom that we’d have to seriously discuss if her child would be able to attend another trip with me. I wrote about the dangers of her child just walking away from the group. She put herself in jeopardy, the parent, and me. Luckily, this parent understands her child and what a handful she can be. She agreed with me—which wouldn’t have been a problem because I don’t care. I am not taking her with me—unless Mom or Dad wants to go to keep an eye on her.

So, a few days later I sent home thank you notes to the parents who came. I wanted to send them in the mail to the home address because I thought that would just be nicer, more personal for the parents. However, I didn’t have stamps and then it got further away from being a nice gesture and blah, blah, blah, so I eventually decided to send the notes home with the children. With the one family, I knew that they didn’t have a firm grasp of English so I attempted to write my thank you note in Spanish. Yes, my Spanish is very rusty after not having used it regularly. However, I pulled out my dictionary for the tough translations.

I told the little girl to tell her dad that I tried to write my thank you in Spanish but that I apologized in advance for any errors. The children are always saying to me, “I can only try my best, right? That’s all you can expect.” I mean, who was their first grade teacher?! LOL! I think that’s just so amusing. So sophisticated and mature these children up here . . .

I just hope I don’t have a second year like I did at the first school where I interned. I mean, I was put through the ringer that second year—the first year giving me a total false sense of the classroom in terms of the students. I mean, the first group was chatty but they were all pretty good kids and didn’t need too much discipline. KNOCK WOOD!

PT—yes, the Classroom Captain—said she’d tell her father. The next day, her dad approached me in the schoolyard and stretched out his hand. I thought it was very strange at first because I see him every day in the school yard and we wave to each other, he came to Back-to-School Night, he was on the trip . . . Literally, I see this man more than I see my mother! So, when he stretched out his hand, I thought, oh no . . . what’d I do? He had a smile on his face and he kind of did that two handed shake where his hand enveloped mine and made a sandwich of my hand. He thanked me for the thank you note. So, I took the gesture as his appreciation that I’d taken the time to try to communicate in his native language rather than trying to force him to communicate in mine.

It was just so curious; he was evidently grateful that I’d written the note in Spanish and told me in a thick accent, “Your Spanish is very good.” I asked him if he were able to understand the note alright—that was my worst fear, that’d I’d sound illiterate. I don’t want to be that in any language! But I, apparently, did a good job. He told me, “Hardly any errors at all! It is very good!” All the while, he had my hand. I was very pleased that he was very pleased. It’s all about that parent/teacher connection, right?

current mood: pleased

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Friday, November 5th, 2004
8:57 pm - The Election
Of course, all the teachers were doing something with the election this year because it was so pivotal in America. I was so married to the Core Curriculum that I wasn’t going to do really do anything with the election but when the children start asking me about voting and the presidential candidates—as only second graders can—I figured we’d use it as a government/civics lesson. We’d elect a Classroom Captain whose role would be to be a personal assistant to the teacher and Literacy Center monitor. The winner would also get to have lunch with the teacher (on a day of her choosing) with two friends.

So, we started with the nominations and everyone voted for whomever it was they wanted. I had pulled two names out of the air but it seemed that the names stuck and those were the actual children who were the ultimate candidates in the election, AI and PT. I like both children, and both would have done a good job as Classroom Captain. I asked the children to remember that the Classroom Captain was someone who is responsible, dependable, listens, follows directions, leads by example, etc.

Well, the next day we made campaign posters. The incumbent (appointed) Classroom Captain made a statement at the “rally,” as did the two hopefuls. It was hysterical! The children took it seriously and read their statements, as well as took questions from the audience—the students they’d ultimately govern. After the children heard the statements and asked their questions they voted by secret ballot. The winner was PT—a very smart, likeable, dependable, eager child. PT would be the typical republican and AI would definitely be the liberal democrat.

As we discussed the campaign and the outcome, the way the candidates answered the questions, did the winner beat the other candidate out by a landslide or was the tally close? That kind of thing. Well, I look over and AI—who is normally a huge jokester, always cracking wise and fearless but extremely likeable—and he’s getting red and glassy about the eyes. I wasn’t sure I was seeing what I was seeing because he’s just not the type. I mean, talk about Kerry wanting to break down and give all his supporters hugs! Oh, my! As I am feeling quite chagrinned by this quasi-teary little boy, I hear a student near me say, “Ms. S, AI is going to cry; his eyes are all red!” Lord, they do not miss a trick, do they? And, while candor is a virtue, these damn kids can be just a little too virtuous if you ask me.

Luckily, the specialist came into the room—gym—and I had to leave. However, I couldn’t just let the little boy sit there trying not to spill those hot, defeated, salty tears amidst his peers. How humiliating and embarrassing. Well, I told the little boy to come with me. I figured he’d just need a few minutes to pull himself together. I told him that just because he didn’t win didn’t mean that his classmates didn’t like him. They were taking seriously the characteristics of the Classroom Captain as I described them. And remember, he is a huge jokester, seems to take nothing seriously or to heart. Well, I gave him a hug and that just seemed to make him tear up more. I told him to have a seat and just sit a minute. I had to return to the classroom to get him a tissue. The little boy was flung across the desks I have outside for testing and what-have-you. I mean, I was quite taken aback by his reaction to the outcome of the election. Disappointment, yes, but this? Is he serious?! I could ask my usual question when the children surprise me with their behavior or questions, “You’re kiddin’ me, right?” I feel so un-teacher-ly when I do that but come on!!!

In any case, I asked him if inviting him and two of his friends to a lunch would help to make him feel better. I felt a little twisted on that one, manipulated almost but he just seemed so dejected, I felt I had to do something. He said that it would make him feel better. I just wanted to get him to stop the water works! I told them I couldn’t take the crying but I didn’t think I’d be sensitive if I reminded him that “no crying” was one of the rules! In fact, I am surprised that one of the students didn’t say he was breaking a rule. No, that they couldn’t say!

So, while he still struggled to get himself together, I told him to come with me as I did some school errands around the building. I mean, I couldn’t just toss him back into the classroom, could I? In about ten minutes, he was able to return to the classroom with a little more dignity. I so wanted to tell him that I hope this humbled him a bit. But he really is a great kid! He is one of my favorites. He’s so smart, does think independently, and knows right from wrong. He talks to me about the Muslim holidays and told me how he didn’t want Bush to win the election because Bush was killing his people. I mean, he is a brilliant child in the making. It’s just the jokes! The constant joking! I told him that I hoped he made money on his act when he got older.

Later, of course, I had the winner, PT, come to me and ask if I had told AI that he, too, could have lunch with me because she thought it was only the Classroom Captain who would do that. What could I say? Talk about being a deer caught in the headlights! I explained to her how upset he was and I felt compelled to offer him a consolation (yes, I did have to explain what that was). After I explained the situation to her, PT seemed quite mature about it. I am sure, however, that the maturity came in when I assured her that he would not have the same teacher lunch date as she and her friends. God forbid I do it all together! Oy vay!

I wanted to announce that if the children couldn’t take the election with the fun in which it was intended, we couldn’t do the election. I mean, I can’t go through this each time!

current mood: shocked

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Friday, October 22nd, 2004
7:26 pm - The gifts!
Earlier this week, a friend was able to procure four slightly outdated computers for me. Free? I’ll take them! Besides, the children need just the basics where the computer is concerned. Most of them have access to computers at home so it wasn’t a huge deal but they did like the idea of having the computers in the room. I think they realize that they are a lucky class to have that many computers. My friend, KAB, cajoled the powers that be and told me Monday night that they were mine. After much hemming and hawing, I got my butt down there before minds could be changed. They were set up in the class Tuesday!

The next couple of days, I had teachers come by saying they just wanted to see the new computers. I assured them they were castoffs but that I was grateful and lucky to have them. They wanted to know how I could possibly have gotten four great computers that fast. I told them that I had a long history of begging and my friends and family were more concerned about shutting me up than hearing me for the next century complain about the lack of this or that for my students. Of course, they said if I could get my hands on more, they’d gladly accept them. Yeah, sure. But I told them I put the hard beg on for myself, I wasn’t making any promises for anyone else. I mean, let’s be real about things, you know?

So, why--after the very bountiful computer gift--did Tony come up to the school today finally to deliver my refrigerator? One teacher, MC, was out in the schoolyard ready to go home when he came and actually came back into the building to see what it was I was getting. They (the teachers in my hallway) all came out "en masse" to see the delivery. "What are you getting now?!" Hmmm, do I feel some "hatin'" comin’ on? I mean, why am I singled out when the other teachers have all this crap, too? Granted, they don't have the computers but the fridge and microwave are practically a given in all the classrooms. Why should I be any different? Yes, the microwave will probably happen this weekend--I mean, it is getting cold and I will tend to have warm lunches now in the winter. And, I’ll need warm water for my hot chocolate or tea. Guess I can get rid of the cooler Mrs. F so graciously let me borrow.

However, the funny thing is, I didn't even recognize Tony at first. I was thinking, "Wow, that dad looks like my brother." I was trying to find the child who would look like us. Then he actually waved his hand and smiled at me and it was like, "OH, SNAP! That's TONY!" You know how it is when you don't expect to see someone somewhere and they just show up, it takes your brain a minute to process. So, he came in and told me to let it sit for a bit, because the fridge was on his truck for three days and he wanted all the oils to settle or something . . . I have no clue what that means but it ain't like I was trying to set that up at 3:15 on a Friday afternoon. I figure I'll un-box the thing Monday and plug it in (he said it should be alright by then) and then I can start loading that puppy on Tuesday. Just think if he had delivered my TV and stuff. They'd have had a true cow! And, yes, I am still bucking for the audio/visual hookup. I want all the comforts of home. I had the one teacher say, “Soon, we won’t even have to go home.” Guess I shouldn’t’ mention my intent to get some kind of bench/cot/bed thing happening in there. I could put it in the cloakroom or something. It’s for those days when one of the kids are feeling bad but the nurse—and we already know about her sorry ass—can’t or won’t take them so they can lay down. I can set it up as a bench any other time, with a nice pad or get one of those chairs that fold out to a little single bed. You’ve seen them . . . . You really do need to be as comfortable as you can in these rooms. Make it so the children (and you) want to be there.

At any rate, the teachers all said, "Wow! You have a really nice family!" As I said, I told them that my family just wanted to shut me up rather than hear me bitch. And, yes, I am quite okay with that!

As I was leaving the building, feeling quite high about my new fridge, I ran into a teacher who asked about a student coming from second grade to first grade. I assumed that it was my KG who certainly did not belong in second grade. I just had a meeting with his father and the resource teacher, Mrs. L. We convinced Dad that it was in his son’s best interest to repeat first grade now than try to sit in the second grade room all year and never catch up. Because, even in the resource room, he is doing first grade work and “just getting it” but feeling much more confident. At any rate, I told the teacher who stopped me that KG was definitely a character and the new teacher would at least be entertained. I assured the dad, though, that when his son was ready, I’d certainly accept KG back into my room. Next year, if he requested me as KG’s teacher—to give some level of comfort and confidence—I am sure they’d honor the request. So, the word is not official but I am sure that it will probably happen within the next week. That will bring me down to 28 students. I should get rid of CP (who really needs Special Ed) and CS (who should also return to first grade). One child said she’s moving. One student already moved. Slowly but surely, I will make myself a 22-student classroom, damn it! LOL!

One of my grade partners did something today. She called me up to ask me if my aide could run some copies off for her. Hello?! I mean, that's being rather bold, don't you think? I mean, it wasn't asking her to come watch the kids while she went to the bathroom or anything. It was doing something for her. Well, no, I am sorry, but she's checking my homework and then she works with my ESL child and she helps me run Centers. She’s working down here. You can't be serious, can you? Apparently, she was. NOT! Of course, I never even asked my aide to do it. I am sure she would have but that's not even right. Is it? I used to hate when other teachers would call to ask me to do something because I was "just the intern." As if I wasn’t doing anything. Would you ask a teacher to “go run some copies?” Hell, no! Hello! I hope that she won't do that again because that puts me in a very awkward position. I wonder if she asked any of the other teachers and, if she didn’t, did she think she would get over because I was new? Again, I think that was a bit over the line. But that’s just me. I wouldn’t even think to ask teachers to ask their aide to do something for me.

Alright, I think that’s enough for now . . . .

current mood: chipper

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Sunday, October 17th, 2004
10:37 am - Reptiles and Grammar
I went to buy things on reptiles yesterday. Our trip to the Academy of Natural Sciences is fast approaching and I don't want us to sound like scrubs when we have our special lesson. Mrs. R gave me the choice of dinosaurs or reptiles. I thought reptiles would be the easier of the two. Well, turns out I should have chosen the former topic because there was a plethora of information on that. Not too many books on reptiles. I did get some, of course, but none that broke it down specifically. I did get one on snakes but the kids all seemed to like the turtles so much that I wanted to get a book on that. I'd seen a book at Borders a while back on Galápagos tortoises. Of course, I couldn't find that one at Barnes and Noble. They were having 25% off this week, too! Darn!

At any rate, I am attempting my first week of centers and guided reading. I am way behind! So, last night in bed I had to create my reading groups and my center groups; both are different. The reading groups were fairly easy since I had to go by their reading levels. However, it made me realize that there are two people I should test because I don't have a true reading on them. The levels look entirely too low for what I know their reading to be. And, since these levels were taken in June, it's entirely possible and highly probable that those levels have changed. So, for now I just put them in the group in which I think they belong and I'll test them later. They are awesome readers and writers so I know those levels are bogus.

The center groups are different because they are cooperative groups. I was completely flummoxed. If I had had Mrs. J's phone number handy, I would have called her to ask how she did it. The groups she put the children in seemed to work so well. There must be some kind of formula. Of course, you have to make sure there is at least one person in the group who can read the directions and lead the group. Then you have to make sure that that person isn't so put upon by the challenged learners that they aren't learning anything themselves but doing more teaching. I hate when my professors do that to me so I didn't want to do it to another student. Then, of course, you have to think of the personalities in the group so that there isn't every minute, "Ms. S, So-and-So did this!" So, at first I just went down the list, writing numbers to seven (so all the ones were in a group and all the twos were in a group, etc.) and tried it that way but it didn't work. I had an all-girl group and then one of the groups turned out to be all challenged students. A no-no even I recognize. So, then I made my seven groups again and started out with all the advanced children, one in each group. Then I had to go back and write in the at-level children. So, this should totally fill in that multi-level, cooperative peer grouping. Then I had to be aware of the boy:girl ratio. So, There are seven groups with two boys and two girls each. Except, one has an extra girl because I have 29 students now, not 30. I'll have to come up with seven centers every two weeks! YIKES! I don't know that I'd be doing centers every day. I may just do them Wednesday-Friday. And then leave time for actual lessons and whatnot. Because it's really time consuming.

Oh, and I've decided that I will ask for the little books again and have the children write notes on grammar. Like, the definitions for the different parts of speech and whatnot. That way, I can have them writing the notes and then tell them to go home and study them. That way when the test comes, they can't say they didn't go over the material with me and don't know what I am talking about. I will check to see if they have the books in the back for it because I think a larger notebook would be better--some of the kids have huge handwriting! But then the notes shouldn't be that extensive . . . . we'll see. I'll figure it out by tomorrow because we certainly will be doing that. I don't want the next teacher to say, "What did Ms. S do with you? You don't know anything!" And I certainly don't want the parents to think I am a slacker. I have this fear that they will smell my "newness" and think I don't know what I am doing. And, sure, there are times when I don't know what the hell I am doing but at the same time, I am following the book. The book and curriculum tell us we have to teach this certain concept and I think, "Wow, did I learn that in second grade? I don't think so but I must have learned it somewhere along the way. I guess I did learn it in second grade." My friend and I were both commenting about that yesterday. Some of this stuff she thinks she didn't get until fourth grade! So, I don't know. The concepts don’t necessarily seem that difficult for them, mind you. They just seem sophisticated to me: parts of speech, the four rules for syllables. At one point I must have known there were rules but by now it's just . . . syllables! What is there to know? Clap on the beat/stress and be done with it. And the way they write some of the rules is like, HUH?! "Whadchu say?"

I gave them a test on different types of sentences. We just learned three of them: command, exclamatory, and declarative. I added the declarative in myself because when we were doing the lessons in class the students kept telling me that the command sentences were command sentences because they had periods at the end. Of course, the reason the command sentence is a command sentence is because it tells someone what to do. We went over and over that. Still, they failed the test I gave them. I thought we had worked on it "all week" but in retrospect, when I thought about it, they only had two days to work with the material. So, I told them (and the parents) that this test wouldn't count because I certainly hadn't given them enough time--especially since the scores weren't that great. The lowest score was a 13! Then again, the highest score was a 98. It would have been 100 but the little girl forgot to put the comma in the sentence. My friend said I should have given it to her but I don't look at the names when I grade (until after) so that I can be fair across the board. I can't give DG full credit when the answer is not fully there if I don't give that same credit to EW, even though I know she's 100% there and paying attention. It’s not fair.

My reasoning for some of the testing I'll be giving is that the Terra Nova is coming. In first grade, I don't think the test is necessarily scored for permanent record but in the second grade the test "counts." The way they word some of the questions is just horrible. I figure, I have until March to get the children comfortable with the way some of the questions will be worded because you know you can't say "boo!" to them if it's not in the Terra Nova script. So, the test was just to identify the different types of sentences by using C (command), D (declarative), E (exclamatory). I have those directions at the top. Most were alright with that. However, when we talk about declarative sentences they call it a "destructive sentence" or "The D-one." Then, there was "at least three of the sentences above can be written a different way. Rewrite the sentence using the new and correct punctuation." We had gone over that the day before the test and just before I gave out the test. They knew it! But, they bombed it! Then they had to correct five sentences by rewriting them using the correct capitalization and punctuation. The one sentence was: the lady dropped her bag (no period) One student wrote: the lady dropped her bag on the floor (no period) HELLO! Again, I went over that. Ouch. I hurt my toe? I would have accepted a couple of variations on this one. Ouch, I hurt my toe! or Ouch! I hurt my toe! or Ouch! I hurt my toe. The one student wrote: Ouch, I hurt myself! Clever but not what I was looking for. Oh, and the most insulting was the fill in the blank section. They had to use their spelling words. I didn't create a word bank because I honestly didn't think they needed it with the simple sentences I wrote. Sam's dog (blanked) at the neighbor. One of their spelling words was barked. Alright, fine. When one of the smarter children was having a problem, I told them I'd create the word bank on the board. So, I did: barked, checked, same, picked, finished. I got Sam's dog picked at the neighbor. Ms. S finished our homework. While grammatically correct, was it right? They are supposed to choose the most logical and reasonable answer. Again, I went over this. Finally, they were supposed to make a list of -ame and -ake words, five each in the spaces provided. Most of those were alright. But there were some doozies on that, too (slam and wamed). The most hurtful part of that was, I have a list of -ame and -ake words hanging in the room that we created together as a group. Some of the students even pointed it out to me. HELLO! But again, I will make sure to give them more time. I guess it just seemed like a long week to me when it was not. Yes, they talk about dog years, they should talk about teacher years.

I don't know. It's all so much to take in. And, I have to remember that if I feel overwhelmed and I'm supposed to KNOW this stuff, then the children are feeling overwhelmed, too. I will do my best to remember that in the future.

current mood: tired

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Friday, October 15th, 2004
11:24 pm - Prince in the Classroom
Alright. I admit it. I couldn’t wait to be able to do some things in the classroom that may or may not have gone over with my partner teachers. I understand some reticence, of course, but sometimes you just don’t know how your ideas will be received and if you’re just being self-indulgent. I confess I think this was a bit of the latter for me. Not that Prince has very many songs that can be used in a classroom, mind you. Still, I found at least one so far. I will be combing my catalog again to see what else I have. Which reminds me, I can’t seem to find my Sign O’ the Times CD set and that’s disturbing.

At any rate, I printed the lyrics to Paisley Park, from the Around the World in a Day set from 1985. I guess I used it today because I had a dream the other night that Prince said to me, “Are you really comfortable at that weight?” I mean, if that ain’t a sign that I need to take Weight Watchers’ more seriously, I don’t know what is! LOL!

I asked the children if they remembered me showing them the program from the concert I went to earlier this year. They didn’t remember. I cajoled their memories and said, “he’s the guy that I liked! The musician?” So, the girls all remembered and started giggling. The boys all remembered and started making these “yuck” noises. I told them it didn’t matter, I still loved Prince and I was happy I had the opportunity to share my favorite artist with them. I also told them that the song came out a very long time ago but that I thought they’d like it. I gave out the lyrics and we read it as a group, each child taking a turn reading a stanza. We discussed the lyrics and what Prince might have meant by some of them. This falls under the curriculum as interpreting and analyzing literature (1.3 B, C, D, and E). So, that was cool.

The comments I received about some of lyrics were funny. We talked about what we expected to hear about in this song. What did the title imply to us? What things do we usually expect to see at a park? Why did Prince call it Paisley Park? I had to explain to them that paisley was a type of pattern. Hmmm . . . Maybe I’ll find a paisley and we can draw them and put them up on our student work board. Yeah . . . . that would be nice. Then we move our discussion to the lyrics, reading them (no music yet). They told me about the colorful people. The people liked to smile a lot. The people were peaceful. They weren’t going anywhere. The girl was playing on the seesaw and was having fun. I asked them where Paisley Park was and they said it was in your heart. I asked them what it meant if something was in your heart. They had some vague ideas and we discussed that. I asked them why they thought Paisley Park was in their hearts. And they told me that the girl just wanted to go someplace fun. We talked about the “there aren’t any rules in Paisley Park” line and I asked them what they thought of that. They liked that, of course. I told them that Paisley Park obviously was not in classroom A-3 because we certainly had rules in our room!

The lyrics about the woman sitting all alone by the pier crying because her husband was naughty. We discussed the word naughty and I asked them why they thought she was crying. I got some really interesting answers. They thought he might have just left her. He may have died. He may have gotten lost. The one little French Creole girl WL said, “Maybe she’s said because he left her to be with another girl.” WHAT?! Wow! I mean, is this little girl talking from experience or what?! So sophisticated at eight years old! My goodness! All the other children had the same reaction I did. Like, did she really just say that?! We did discuss the line about forgiveness and being able to come to Paisley Park.

Finally, we played the song and they loved it. It was catchy and slow enough for them to follow along. They didn’t get to read/sing along too much with the stanzas but they certainly were able to join in on the chorus and after only two play-throughs, they were singing, “Paisley Park is in your heart!” I was so proud! Yes, if you see my man, tell him I am raising yet another generation of Prince lovers! I just hope I can find some more of his music to introduce to them. I had a few students ask me to borrow my CD. You know I told them they must be smokin’ crack! LOL! No, I didn’t say that but my look was, “Oh, no way, José!” PT really liked the song and seemed tickled that I was bobbing along with them to it and that I didn’t need to look at the lyric sheet to sing with the CD. Hey, I’ve only been singing this tune for about 19 years now! LOL! I told them that we’d play it again because we didn’t get to the hands-on grammars and phonics lesson with the tune. So, that will give me a reason to play it again.

I told one of the other teachers about it and she loves Prince, too. Well, not as much as I because she kept saying one of her favorite songs was “When Doves Fly.” HELLO? Are you serious? Still, I gave her the lyric sheet and the CD and told her to let me know how it went for her. My class performed the play “Columbus’ Mistake” for this teacher. Her class liked it and it went well. I had some students get a little vocal in the audience but I curbed them. I always tell them not to embarrass me because they would just be all kinds of sorry. I told them that we were guests and should act accordingly because when they came to our room, we’d expect them to act as if they had some sense, too. They asked me again, when we returned to the room, “Did we embarrass you?” I think that’s just hysterical that they ask me that after the fact. I guess I get really intense and they truly believe me when I say that because that is the first thing they ask when we are alone together. Hey, better they keep it together and do things right so that we all can keep our heads up high, right?

But in the meantime, let me go find a paisley print so that I can make a little bulletin board.

current mood: giddy

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10:05 pm - The Nurse is Useless!
I would really like to know how some of these folks get these jobs. It’s so entirely frustrating to see people in these gigs who just lay back and do nothing. Fine, you got the gig. Great for you! However, that is someone else’s fault if you continue to keep your gig and you aren’t reprimanded or just fired for not doing your job!

From the very beginning of the year—as if this isn’t the very beginning of the year—this nurse hasn’t been any help to me at all. You’ll remember the Baby Huey incident. (By the way, he moved last week with all of six hours notice! I mean, do these parents think it would be prudent to write a note telling the teacher their student won’t be returning?) I called her and didn’t get any satisfaction. The boy threw up! Granted, he was making himself sick but what did she want me to do with him when I was alone in the classroom? She had access to the phone. She could make the call and I couldn’t. She was by herself. I had twenty-nine other students to look after. I mean, am I wrong to have expected a little help from her?

The second incident just happened this week. A little boy, SP, threw up after lunch. He had been moaning and groaning but I figured he was just kidding around and didn’t want to copy his homework. Well, finally, I allow him to go to the nurse and he vomits in the hall before he can even make it around the bend. Of course, the class was right behind him wanting to go to our “rest stop” and I had to caution the children not to look at the puke and be all grossed out and act like babies. Luckily, the custodial staff had it cleaned up in like three minutes. Well, the nurse sent the little boy back and said that he was just “running around too much at recess after eating lunch.” Yeah, right. So, what would make him not throw up every other day since that is what happens every other day? He eats lunch, then goes directly to recess, and runs around like a maniac just as all the other children do. Well, she sent him back to class and as we were coming back from the rest stop (as a class), he vomited again. I tried to take him back in there but she had locked the door and gone to lunch. Alright, fine.

So, I go and make the call for the little boy because he was obviously not feeling well. The people in the office tell me how the nurse is supposed to handle that. Really? No shit! Get outta town! I told them what happened and I made the call myself. Of course, when I got the family on the phone they acted as if I was in freakin’ Siberia. There was no way to get the little boy and the mom wasn’t there and blah, blah, blah. Okay, I understand not having a car and whatnot but if someone calls about your child and says that he or she is really sick and vomiting in the halls and crying, you find a way to freakin’ get there! Why the hell else do you even give an emergency contact number if you can’t get there or the emergency contact person can’t get there?

So, I take SP back to the room with me and just feeling all kinds of bad for the boy. Of course, I am thinking of my idea to have a little cot/bench in the room for occasions just like this one. He couldn’t go to the nurse—and if he could, she wouldn’t have let him lay in there for an open-ended amount of time. I all had were desks and hard floors. No soft surfaces at all. Well, I let him sit in the read-aloud rocking chair, gave him a pillow, and shared my water with him. I mean, I couldn’t even offer the boy a ginger ale since my brother hadn’t delivered the refrigerator as promised.

Finally, the little boy’s parents came. As they were waiting to leave the office, signing them out and whatnot, he upchucked yet again! Not that I wanted him to suffer but I almost felt like saying, “So, do you think this weak-ass diagnosis of him running too hard is still the case?”

So, today, I have another issue. A little girl with the most severe body odor. I am surprised the other children haven’t started to tease and mock her because it’s really quite ripe, to put it mildly. In all other schools, this is considered the nurse’s domain. And, apparently, it’s considered the same at Moore. I talked to three people who all told me to go to the nurse. Well, I go to her—after Dr. Y pretty much led me by the hand in search of her—and before I could even get it out of my mouth good she said she was on her way to lunch. Settle down, wench! No one is telling you to drop everything this second. Then I explain the situation and she said that she does not handle that and “it’s up to you to establish that rapport with the parents and tell them the problem.” HELLO?! This is part of your job because apparently that falls under neglect and the teachers aren’t supposed to be involved in anything but academics. Of course, we know that is some bullshit they tell the new people but technically speaking . . .

So, I pretty much just walked away from her. I wasn’t sure what I’d say if I stayed. I wanted to tell her how ineffective she was and how I had come to her three times and three times she’s pretty much given me her ass to kiss. I went to discuss it with other teachers and what their experiences were and was I just being sensitive and to get some advice on where to go from there. I mean, I feel uncomfortable telling these parents that their child is a funk-dumpling and is lightin’ up my classroom with her funk. I really do think it’s someone else’s job to tell them that. I was told pretty much the same thing by the other staff members. I spoke to my aide, too. She said that the school was almost sued over some bullshit that the nurse did a year or so ago. Apparently, a little boy was hurt in the schoolyard. The nurse called home and assured the parent he was fine. Later that night he was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. HELLO!

So, I don’t know what to do now. I went back to Dr. Y but she was in a meeting. I told her that I followed her suggestion but that I didn’t get “the expected guidance. Is there another way we can handle this problem?” Mrs. S said I was “kind to put it that way.” I mean, do I tell her, “That wench didn’t do crap yet again?” I didn’t get to talk to her before I left school today but I am sure I’ll talk to her on Monday. I had to write a note to the mom and told her to call me Monday, if I didn’t get to her over the weekend. I am hoping that I’ll have another solution before I have to talk to her. EEK!

But I really do want to know how some people get off in the positions they have. The nurse not wanting to do her job CONSISTENTLY just peeves me to no end. And I realize it’s not all school nurses. The one at my first school handled that quickly as far as I was concerned. I told the one boy who was making me sick to my stomach. I was literally getting dry heaves being around him. This little girl is bordering on that. I will give Mom a chance to call me but if there isn’t an immediate difference, I’ll have to ask the little girl directly if she bathes or at least do an impromptu lesson about basic hygiene. Hell, in fact, I may do that anyway! Luckily, last year we didn’t have that problem.

I am sure I’ll be writing more about this issue . . .

current mood: annoyed

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Saturday, October 9th, 2004
7:25 pm - Christopher Columbus
Alright. I totally forgot that the reason we had off Monday was that it was Columbus Day. It just seems bizarre to me that we have off for this day. Not that I am looking a gift-horse in the mouth by any means. Other teachers have said the same thing and one justified the holiday by saying it was pretty much the only holiday the Italians had. We had St. Patrick’s Day, Martin Luther King Day—, which frankly doesn’t really celebrate Blacks to me but celebrates a man who happened to be black who fought for peace among races. At any rate, she said that Columbus was the only blip on the map for the Italians. Yeah, alright. I guess so. A day off? I’ll take it! I have a test in Second Language Acquisition and I need the study time!

So, I wasn’t going to really do anything just because, as I said, I forgot. Then I hear the other teachers talking about how they are going to do this, that, and the other. I figured I’d better at least address the holiday so the children would know why we had the day off. It was bad enough I didn’t get to talk to them about Rosh Hashanah, as I’d wanted. Luckily, a professor at St. Joe’s made us get this book called Encounter, by Jane Yolen, as one of required “texts.” So I already had it in my class library. Then Thursday night I am scrambling around the Internet trying to find lessons on Columbus that I could easily do with my second grade class. All the ones I encountered were either too dry or seemed to take longer than a day. Since I’d been neglectful all week about it I didn’t want something that would linger into next week, I just wanted to be done with it. (Later, I found out that some of my colleagues would extend into next week even though the actual day is over. I guess I need to get out of that thinking.) At any rate, I finally found this play (called Columbus’ Mistake) on some education site that I browsed and in my desperation, I just printed out. I didn’t even read it, just printed it thinking I may be able to read it to them or send it home or something.

So, I get to school Friday and we have our spelling test, as usual. (This reminds me, I must give back last week’s test because they’ve been asking me about it.) I tell the children about being off on Monday and ask them if they knew why we were off Monday. Some had no clue and others knew it was because of Columbus. So, I told them I wanted to share with them the “author’s note” in the back of the book before I read the actual book. So, I read it and give them real examples of what the author was saying about what might have happened based on Columbus’ journals of the voyage. I told them it would be like JG having a toy and then AA coming over to just snatch it out of her hand and saying, “Mine!” They seemed to get that. I asked them if that was a good thing. They said it wasn’t. So I go on and discuss the other notes and then we read the book. They are getting all restless and while I understand it, I wanted to impress upon them how horrible this was. There is one picture of Columbus in this book when he is looking at the Taino gold on the natives and he just looks ugly! So, when I told them that this was the illustrator’s interpretation of how the little boy in the story would see Columbus they got very interested and a little scared. Yes, the picture was that distorted. So, they kind of settled down and I took the discussion to the carpet rather than continue with the book. We stopped for our moments and it actually got up to gym time. I did manage to finish the story but I told them that they should think about what we read and then we’d come back and finish up in the afternoon.

The afternoon came and I ditched the math plans. If you tell anyone, I’ll deny it, of course. I looked at the play I printed out and decided we’d do that. Why not?! I hurriedly ran off copies and chose students to be the actors. I wanted them to remember the morning reading and having the play that afternoon reinforced what they’d heard, especially since the Tainos were mentioned in the play. So, we read the play and I had them read with expression and whatnot. The children got into it. The prompt was: “We read the book Encounter this morning and then saw a play about the same event. What are your feelings about what you saw and read?” So, they wrote in their journals first and then I underwrote their writing. I received some great responses. Many of them said how they didn’t think Columbus was a “nice guy because he stole those people’s land.” There was another writing about how “Christopher Columbus was greedy and not a good person.” Even the children who don’t normally get involved got into it—except one. He didn’t do anything because he was still shell-shocked about not being chosen to play a part in the production. I’ve told that boy countless times that when he can’t do the standard work, he can’t expect to get special treatment and get to the “fun stuff” all the time. Get a grip! I’ll write about him later.

A few got the play confused with their friends. They wrote about how they liked their classmates in the play rather than the actual events that happened. My intern said how they were really getting into it and actually went to get that expensive-ass journalist camera of hers to take pictures. When I talked to the other teachers about it later, they were impressed, too. I am just glad it worked out since it was so impromptu. I really need to get myself a tickler of some sort for these lessons since I have to do them in advance. You really don’t think of it when you’re doing that because you’re just following the curriculum and the school calendar for Trophies and Every Day Math. They don’t say anything about the holidays so you’re just feeling “out of sight/out of mind.”

At any rate, they copied the writing onto nice white paper (not what I wanted so I went to the teacher’s store to get some for the future) after it was corrected and then drew a picture to match their writing. I’ll hang up the finished product on Tuesday when I get into school. We have in-service so I should have a few free minutes to do something—and cleaning up my desk and surrounding areas won’t hurt either!

current mood: drained

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Friday, October 8th, 2004
7:37 pm - I like you, Teacher!
Friday, October 8, 2004: I like you, teacher!

Well, today we had to write sentences about something that we liked. The theme this month (or six-week cycle) is “All about me.” So, the children were writing things they liked to do or eat or what-have-you. Of course, there were so many “I like my mom” and “I like my dad” papers. Others liked candy, football, or some other game.

KM gave me a paper, with inventive spelling, which was not very bad at all for a second grader, let alone a second grader not from this country and not a native speaker. He wrote, “I lik techr.” At first, I didn’t understand. Yes, after all this time, it still takes me a minute to remember that they are using this “inventive spelling” to convey their messages. By now, KM would know how to spell “like.” The “I” was obvious. I wasn’t too sure about “techr” but soon figured it out. I talked to him and read it aloud so he could hear me—he was very proud of what he had written, and rightly so.

However, I was positive he hadn’t meant “teacher.” I asked if he meant school, the entire concept of school, the classroom, and the other students. Surely, he couldn’t mean just teacher, could he? And, if he meant teacher, which teacher? Me? Mrs. S, who takes him in the morning out into the hall so that they can have truly private one-on-one sessions? or did he mean Mrs. A, who comes for him in the afternoon for the very small group instruction?

While we are certainly past the exaggerated pantomiming of his immediate arrival into the class, we certainly aren’t speaking fluently with each other—regardless of the Albanian dictionary I bought at Barnes and Noble. So, I continued to chat with him about school, desks, chairs, and almost forcing him to recant his “I like” statement. Finally, he got fed up with my verbal wanderings and said, “No!” He pointed to me, then started pressing on my shoulder, “I like you! You teacher!” The other children around us at the time started to chuckle and as if to confirm what he was saying to me—because I apparently couldn’t get it on my own—they said, “he’s saying he likes you, Ms. S!”

I put my hands on my shoulders to indicate “me.” Then, I said, “teacher? Teacher?” KM nodded his head. I again said, “Me?” He again pressed his hand onto my shoulder with an impish grin and said, “Yes. You. Teacher!” What could I say? What could I do? I gave him a hug and he hugged me back, still grinning widely. He turned around and looked at the other students. I am sure he felt pride in that I was able to understand his writing. It was as clear as some of his classmates' writing. The reason I gave him such a difficult time about it was the language “barrier.” I didn’t trust that he understood teacher. Why I thought he would understand the greater concept of school and the entire academic experience is beyond me. Sure, it is possible but children generally don’t think in such abstract terms. They are more concrete.

So, next time I won’t give him such a hard time. It’s nice to know that he is enjoying his experience in school. And, if I can have some small part of that, all the better.

current mood: chipper

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Thursday, October 7th, 2004
6:57 pm - He's amazing!
Having an Albanian student in my classroom definitely helps me run the gamut of feelings from entertained to excited to frustrated and beyond challenged. Every day with KM is different—not that it isn’t so with my English speakers, native or otherwise. However, there just seems to be a little something extra where this little boy is concerned.

KM is very sweet and mannerable. I notice that he does have a very playful streak in him, though. Of course, that does not surprise me since he is still a child, a “normal child in the second grade.” Everything is funny or silly and nothing—absolutely nothing—should be taken too seriously. While I can certainly appreciate and applaud his positive attitude toward his school and acclimation experience, his playfulness can, at times, be a hindrance in the classroom. I’ve had friends and colleagues tell me that his family probably told him to “just laugh and joke and you will fit in” or “if they ask you questions and you can’t answer, just start to laugh or smile.” If that is the case, I must say in the beginning, it certainly worked.

I didn’t know what to do with KM. I certainly didn’t speak his language and he, apparently, did not speak mine. At least, not enough to communicate fluently and effectively with me. However, I’ve since gone to the teachers’ store and bought some things to help him along. My aid is taking him for at least 30 minutes each day and working with him one-on-one. The ESOL crew has finally gotten to him, too. He is taught in concentrated small group cooperatives for about 75 minutes each day, in the afternoons. So, all told he is getting almost two hours each day of individual or small group instruction and the rest of the day, he interacts with us in the classroom.

In the beginning, he was very shy about raising his hand and asking for help. I can only assume he felt as thwarted trying to ask the questions as he knew I’d probably feel in trying to answer those questions. If there is a failure to communicate with meaning, why even bother? So, now, when he raises his hand, I am happy. That means that he is at least engaged. He will point to the lesson on the board and then to his composition book and give me those expressively questioning eyes with an expression that is apparently universal. I can almost hear him asking me, “Is this what you want me to do?” It’s primitive but it seems to work for us. When he can’t be treated individually, and the work is just copying or “busy/seat-work” I feel that he is at least getting the feel for the American alphabet and he is engaged in writing/sound association.

He is actually blowing my mind because we do dictation exercises and the children have to write in their journals the sentences or words that I give them. KM consistently does just as well as some of the currently in my class. Granted, those children he seems to be on par with are very low second graders; however, that is even more amazing to me. This little boy who has been here for such a short time seems to have grasped more about phonetics than native children who speak English as their first language.

current mood: chipper

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Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
7:21 pm - Back-to-School Night and more
Well, tonight I had about ten parents show up. I thought that wasn’t too many but then when I heard the other teachers’ numbers, I got a little complex. They each had about 20-22 parents show up. I mean, what’s that about? Why did I have so few parents come to see me? Not that I really could have handled that many, they all seemed to want to talk to me privately after I did my schpiel about the classroom stuff. I was so nervous the one parent came in and I totally forgot to tell her that I think her kid needs to go back to first grade. Yeah, that nervous and he is that bad!

The parents I expected to show did show, only a few didn’t. I did have my one parent who always emails me and talks to me in the yard come—though she’s one I told didn’t need to come because I talked to her ALL THE TIME—literally. And, she had been up there that day giving her son a birthday party in the room. That was her first time in the room and she thought it looked nice. She sent me an email later with some feedback and said it was a good night and I was informative. I told her it helped having a friendly face in the “audience.”

One parent showed up and when I told him his child was so sweet and mannerable and tried hard to impress me, he couldn’t believe it. Apparently, this is a total turn-around from last year. I told the parent that I was sure it was because he was probably just naturally maturing and he was in such a diverse classroom with so many different cultures around him he may just be feeling a bit flummoxed—which is good for me. He is trying to be like his classmates. Could have been he was badly influenced by the students he had been around before and now that he sees how the children in this class are acting, he’s adjusting his attitude. I told Dad I’d keep an eye out for his son and would definitely report any untoward behavior or slacking off.

As for the child who kept giving me her little “attitude,” her parents came. As far as attitudes go, she is a total lightweight. She could totally take a lesson from WR from first grade, if you remember her. Geez Louise! At any rate, she doesn’t give you her ass to kiss when you tell her something but she does have that passive-aggressive behavior about “Yes, I heard you. I will do as you say.” But then is doing whatever she wants to do when you turn around. Well, I told her a couple of times I was going to call her house. She asked me not to. That happened like three times. I told her three strikes, you’re out. I call. TONIGHT! And I did. Then she apparently got into it with the intern and when they came in from lunch one day, she was in tears! I mean, eyes red, swollen! My goodness! I figured Ms. D had some power I didn’t. She could totally take her on, I did not mind one bit! Well, the mom called me that afternoon while they were in the room. So, this child’s mom and I talked and she told me how she was having that problem with her daughter at home, not wanting to really listen and doing things her own way. I told Mom that the daughter wasn’t belligerent with me but she was doing what she wanted. The mom said that she was belligerent if she wasn’t listening. I mean, what can I say to that? Just because she’s not nasty about it doesn’t mean she’s not being defiant and belligerent, right? Right. I mean, I was trying to cut the woman some slack, it’s just barely October, you know?

Well, we’re talking and she says how she’s having the troubles and whatnot and how she tries to reprimand the child and the last time she beat her so good “they called the people” on her. You know I was looking like Freddy! My eyes got big and thank goodness, I was facing the wall! I felt bad for my student. But then again, it was like, well . . . just listen! Do as you’re told! Why make it hard on yourself?! At the Back-to-School Night, Dad came and he was Mr. Cool. (How these two parents hooked up, I just do not know. He looked like Mr. Saturday Night and she looked like Ms. Church Sunday.) At any rate, he comes up to me, in this swagger, suckin’ on a toothpick kinda vibe—I don’t know if he had one or I just imagined it, he was just so smooth and old-school cool—and says, “Next time she starts actin’ up in class, you just tell her, ‘I’m gonna call your daddy.’ That should do something for her.” Dayum! I guess it would! He had that “Mister” vibe to him—and if you’ve read The Color Purple, you know what I am talking about—and he wasn’t saving it all for Celie!

Another little boy’s father came and he looked . . . just plain weird! I’d never, in a million years, match them up as father and son—EVER! But he was nice and courteous, just like his son. They didn’t want this little boy to have a pen pal. I got a note in his homework book last week from mom saying, “Ms. S, I am just not feeling B having a pen pal at this time.” She went on to say how bad things were in the world and yadda, yadda, yadda. I wrote back that I totally understood but that they’d have to understand that when we do our letters, their son would be reading independently or something. Well, after the schpiel, the dad comes up to me and says that now that I explained the pen pal program to him, he was sure it would be fine if B had a pen pal. I was very happy to hear that. So, I will get him to write a letter on Wednesday to the pen pal the one boy had who moved away.

This is Baby Huey—the one who just carried on so badly that first day. At any rate, he comes in and says how he’s moving. Well, most teachers know that when a child says they’re moving they could mean anything from that afternoon to like ten years from now because mom and dad are telling them their dreams. He wanted to take his stuff (crayons, markers, etc.). I told him that when he brought a note in from home saying they were moving, I’d gladly send his stuff home. Well, he hasn’t been back. I guess he was correct in that his family moved. His desk was cleaned out of EVERYTHING! He did leave the textbook, though. Is that bizarre?! That brings my numbers down to 29—I just need to get rid of about five more and I’d be in business.

In better news, before we had to meet the parents, we had like four hours to kill! They scheduled our night to start at 7:00! As an Intern, I don’t think I ever went to a Back-to-School Night. Maybe once. I don’t remember it being so long. Maybe 5:00-7:00 but 7:00-9:00 seemed extreme. But then I had to remember that there are a lot of working parents in the school and they’d need time to actually come from work and all that good stuff. Some of the teachers went out to Chickie and Pete’s—the original one. I finally got there! The one teacher told me, after I told her I tried to eat at the one on the Boulevard but it’s always like over an hour wait to be seated, that it was well worth the wait and I’d not be disappointed. The soup was pretty good and they let me taste these “amazing fries!” Fries with Old Bay. Good but not like the freakin’ second coming! LOL! The bread was nice, thick, and crusty. I’d have gotten the hot and spicy shrimp but you had to peel them yourself. I didn’t want to meet the parents smelling like a hot and spicy shrimp.

So far, I am happy in this placement. I can’t complain too much. Although, I do need tables still, and my storage cabinet so I can clean up that back “closet.” I am tired of looking at that mess back there! Still waiting on my fridge from Dear Brother but I guess that’ll happen when it happens and not before . . . . Why did I have a dream that Prince was donating books to my classroom?! Think I should write and beg him? It’s not as if I haven’t funded his ass for the last 20 plus years, right?!

current mood: overwhelmed

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